BOUNTY HUNTER :: Marros Graven

[Bloody Mary]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 508px; height: 740px; background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/xvJao.png');] [/style] [style=margin-top: -100px; margin-right: 50px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 20pt; text-align: right; text-transform: uppercase; color: #3b220a;]MARROS GRAVEN 19 || FEMALE || CYBORG || PIRATE IDENTIFICATION Full Name: Marros Graven Aliases: Bloody Mary, Sexuality: Bisexual Date of Birth: 21/11 Crew: - Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Zodiac Sign: Scorpio Personal Jolly Roger: Bloody PERSONALITY POSITIVE TRAITS: Clever Analytical Skilled Confident Tactical NEGATIVE TRAITS: Slightly sadistic Insane Creepy Insomniac Cold LIKES: Blood Torturing people Cutting things Sharp objects Technology DISLIKES: Those who stand in her way Religious People Mice Pirates Banjos APPEARANCE Image Link: Don't I just look gorgeous Height: 165cm Weight: 52kg Hair Color: White, often stained with red Eye Color: Red Attire: Her attire consists of a white body suit with circular red markings of various sizes all over it. She is always barefoot and wears nothing on her hands. Abnormalities: A large cross shaped scar on her left shoulder. BACKGROUND It is not known exactly why she is like she is. She cannot sleep, she seems to be happiest when arm deep in guts and on top of that she hates pirates. The marines would not accept her due to her insanity and her methods which were brutal and inhumane so she became a bounty hunter. However, she was odd in the fact that she didn't care who got in her way and would cut them down without thought. The money was not used for anything except to make finding the pirates more easily. Technology was something she loved. Everything about it interested her. Not because it would advance the world, but because by using it effectively she could kill more efficiently and torture better. In short, she wanted to improve herself via technology. As such most of the money she got that was not spent on necessities was spent on technology to upgrade herself. Wanted posters always said dead or alive. For her it wasn't an option. They would be brought in dead and generally in a state that made them almost, but not quite, unrecognisable. She was no fool. ADDITIONAL INFO PERSONAL DRIVE: The extinction of pirates. COMMONLY ASSOCIATED NUMBER: 666 REPRESENTED BY THE COLOR: Crimson OFTEN SAID TO BE MOST LIKE: Shark SCENT: Very faintly smells of blood FAVORITE FOOD AND DRINK: Rare Steak, Blood CHARACTER VOICE: Mari Devon OOC NAME: FACE CLAIM:

[/b], wretched egg as Mary[/code][/ul][/blockquote][/div][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[Bloody Mary]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 508px; height: 740px; background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/xvJao.png');] [/style] [style=margin-top: -100px; margin-right: 50px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 20pt; text-align: right; text-transform: uppercase; color: #3b220a;]MARROS GRAVEN ABILITIES AND INVENTORY INVENTORY Weapons A Scythe. A dagger mostly used for skinning. An adjustable spanner Non-weapons Cyborg toolbox: A box filled with various tools that can be used to fix and build technology. These are mostly focused on cyborg parts. ABILITIES RACIAL FEATURES Cybernetic arms: Her arms are cybernetic though appear human. They are capable of moving at superhuman speeds and hitting with superhuman strength. Cybernetic legs: Her legs are cybernetic though appear human. With them she can run at superhuman speeds and kick with superhuman strength. Cybernetic endurance: Her cyborg parts are heavily reinforced making them very hard to damage. Bullet finger: By forming the childish 'finger gun' pose with either hand the fingers open at the tips allowing her to fire bullets. She is limited to twenty bullets (ten for each hand) each thread.

[Aeon]

• First of all, your username needs to match your character name. You have the character named Mary, but the account says Cathie.
  
• Your thread title is also not formatted correctly. It needs to be AFFILIATION :: Character Name.
  
• There should only be one blank line between the attire section and abnormalities section.
  
• If you're not going to have a scent for your character then remove the section.
  
• Your FC is missing your character's name, and the anime character needs to have NO caps in it.
  
• You're missing your character name at the top of the second post.
  
• Put a bullet and N/A in the racial features, don't leave it completely blank.

You also need to go over the app for spelling and grammar. Also remember to read the header for the pending board, it gives the correct rules for many of the common mistakes in applications.

Fix these things and then resubmit.

[Nox]

• Judging by the rest of your app, I'd have to say she's a bit more than slightly insane.
  
  
  
• I'm interested in what context you mean "perverted". Do you mean sexually perverted or something else?
  
  
  
• I'd go through your attire with a fine toothed comb to catch any grammar issues you might have (there are a few). You also have the name "Flare" in her attire section.
  
  
• In what fashion do her katanas link up? pommel to pommel or guard to guard? (so blade staff or parallel blades)
  
  
• "Disection" isn't an ability, it's a fighting style and thus does not belong on the character application.
  
  
• The fact that you say it is "Inhuman Accuracy" means a human couldn't do it. Meaning Mary couldn't, as she is a human.
  
  
• Your blood scent is also inhuman. So, see my point above.
  
  
• I know what you're going for with "messed up nerve endings", but your wording is way off. There is a genetic disorder which inhibits feeling pain whatsoever. Messed up nerve endings would stop you from feeling anything. Research congenital analgesia and look into things of that nature.
  

[/li][/ul]

[Nox]

• Ok, I'm glad you went for a slightly different direction with Mary's abilities. The Blood aspect would have been extremely tricky, imo.
  
• The genetic disorder that removes feeling pain from being experienced doesn't have a tolerance level. There is no pain ever. People have literally scratched their own skin off.
  
• There's a lot more that goes in to accuracy than just the eyes. There's just about everything in the body that goes into how accurate a person is.
  
• Unfortunately, there's no way to see the electromagnetic field. You can feel it, but that wouldn't be an eye modification. It'd be more likely to be a brain modification, but the problem with it would be that you still wouldn't be able to feel the difference from person to person. To have something that functions similarly to how you want it, you would almost have to "mark" a person or something like that. Even if it's a mark through the eyes.
  

[Nox]

Once again, I must apologize for the wait and any confusion that might have occurred from my deleting of your notification post.

The only real thing I have to say is: Please reduce the arm speed and give me a frame of reference for anything "Superhuman". Example being: "Moves x distance in y time" or something of that nature. It's just to avoid confusion.