PIRATE :: Neah Ryotoji

[Neah Ryotoji]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 508px; height: 740px; background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/xvJao.png');] [/style] [style=margin-top: -100px; margin-right: 50px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 20pt; text-align: right; text-transform: uppercase; color: #3b220a;]Neah Ryotoji 24 || Male || Human || Pirate IDENTIFICATION Full Name: Neah Wulfic Ryotoji Aliases: The Musician Sexuality: hetero Date of Birth: 24/December Crew: Alignment: Chaotic Good Zodiac Sign: Capricorn Personal Jolly Roger: PERSONALITY POSITIVE TRAITS: Kind Caring Compassionate Trust worthy Loyal NEGATIVE TRAITS: Snores loudly Short temper Will seek retribution no matter what if someone harms a friend or crew member Secretive Messy eater LIKES: Friends Music Being a pirate Women Treasure DISLIKES: the world Government Marines The Celestial Dragons Brussels sprouts People that disrespect music and the dead. APPEARANCE Image Link: ClickyI Height: 6 feet 2 inches Weight: 160 pounds Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Amber/gold color Attire: He is usually seen wearing long black pants and a pair of black dress shoes.He wears a white dress shirt as well as a red string tie around his neck. Neah has a lean, muscular physique, which, over the course of time since the death of his father, has become marred with scars. He has medium-length black hair that is spiky. Abnormalities: Dark grey color skin and black stigmatat across his forehead. He also has had all his vital organs removed such as lungs, heart kidneys,liver and brain. BACKGROUND Neah was born on the evening of the 25th of December. His mother was a Waitress from east blue from the goa kingdom, Where as his father was a traveling musician named Mana Ryotoji. He was known throughout the four great oceans as a famous musician and swordsmen. Though his father had stopped traveling and decided to stay in the Goa Kingdom when he met Neah's mother. It was love at first sight for Neah's parents. From the moment they met and laid eyes on each other they were almost inseparable. Neah's mother was in labor for over 12 agonizing hours. Sadly Neah's mother passed away but she got to name him before she passed away. Neah came out screaming like a banshee like every baby does when they're first born. His father was still in shock at the loss of his wife that he failed to notice the new life before him. The nurses had finished cleaning up the new born baby Neah. The nurses handed the new born baby Neah to his father as they covered the body of Neah's mother up. After a while Neah's father finally noticed his new born son in his arms. Neah's father cried tears of both joy and sadness at the loss of his wife's love and the birth of his very first son. though tragedy came later that very same day. Over the next few years Neah's father took care of him. Neah's father still deeply missed his wife but he still had his son so in a way he still had a part of her still. Even as a baby Neah would always crawl towards his fathers instruments. Neah's father would always crack a big grin at that and scoop up the infant Neah just before Neah touched any of his instruments, Neah's father would always say after he picked him up "you're gonna make a fine musician someday son and a fine man." When Neah turned 5 his father began training Neah on how to read music. Neah was a quick study while studying on learning to read music. His father started Neah off with the piano for his sons first instrument. Neah took to the piano like a duck to water his father use to say. When not teaching Neah about music his father would train his son in the art of sword fighting. His father may have been just a musician or so others thought at his appearance but once long ago he was a very skilled swordsman of a pirate crew. But due to a incident where he was the only soul survivor he quit being a swordsman and picked up a new trade with what other skill he had and that was in creating music. Then one day when Neah came home from school he found a tragic sight. He was 10 years old when he found his father on the floor of their home. His father was unconscious so Neah panicked and ran out of the house looking for aid. By the time he did his father was in worse condition. His father was transferred to the hospital the doctors couldn't do anything apparently Neah's father had a heart condition that he was battling with for many years.Neah ran to his father's room were his father was still barely alive. Neah cried tears as his father said "I'm sorry son looks like it's my time I will be with your mother soon be a good boy for me I love you..." With those parting words his father passed away. Neah was put into a foster home and has been looked at and stays with them, though he hates it there and wants to leave and go back to his old home his father bequeathed to him in his will but the city would not allow him to keep it, due to a financial crisis in the city and they need homes to sell to people who were willing to buy them. Neah was taken in by his father's brother and for a while things were okfor a while. But then Neah's uncle developed a serious drinking problem. One night after a serious evening of drinking his uncle became extremely violent to Neah blaming him for the death of his brother. He Even attempted to kill him by choking the life out of him. But Neah fought back and fought against his uncle. The two clashed and caused quite an uproar so much so that Neah's neighbors heard the commotion and saved him from his abusive drunk uncle. His uncle was locked away into jail and he was put into a different foster home. After he recovered from the ordeal from his uncle he studied hard but still couldn't shake off the grief and drama entirely. after the ordeal he concentrated on a simple thing and that was learning more about the piano at the age of twelve he had mastered the piano. Six years later he turned eighteen and was legally old enough to leave foster care. That day was perhaps one of his happier memories. He then continued his life as usual got a apartment and a job working at city hall in the records department. For the next six years he was somewhat at peace. when he turned 24 he decided to set out and become a pirate but not before settling some old business first. His fathers home was for sale and he took he original document of his fathers will and the deed for the house and destroyed all the copies. On his earliest travels across the east blue he came across a strange fruit. He took it and kept it as a souvenir and to study it to see what kind of fruit he had found. Through careful study he had figured out the mysterious fruit he found was actually a devil fruit and it was of the paramecia type. Eventually he found out that the name of the fruit was the Yomi yomi no mi or the revive revive fruit. one day when he was about to sell his fruit he was attacked by some muggers. Though he fended them off one of them landed a fatal blown on him. As he was down on the ground bleeding he had to make a choice to make to die or to eat the fruit and live. Well obviously he choose to eat the fruit and when he first bit into it it tasted like the most revolting thing he had ever eaten in his life. But he stomached it down and ate the entire fruit. He then soon died later. His could traveled through the land of the dead wandering aimlessly for a while but soon it found its way back to the world of the living. His soul searched for days and finally found his old body in the morgue. He reunited with his body and opened his eyes once again alive with a smile on his face. Though something felt different. He grabbed his clothes that were in a bag of evidence and looked himself over in the mirror. The mortician had taken out his heart and liver and his brain along with his other vital organs. though even without his brain he had perfect cognitive skills and memories of his life and perfect motor skills. though the cut along his forehead had healed there was a line of stigmata across his forehead and his skin had turned a dark grey. A small price to pay to be alive once again and be virtually immortal. He left the morgue and returned out on his journey of sailing the sea ocean as a pirate in search of a crew to join. ADDITIONAL INFO PERSONAL DRIVE: To Find the treasure one piece and be the greatest musician in the world, and become a yonkou REPRESENTED BY THE COLOR: White. OOC NAME: FACE CLAIM:

[/b], faceclaim as Neah Ryotoji[/code][/ul][/blockquote][/div][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[Neah Ryotoji]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 508px; height: 740px; background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/xvJao.png');] [/style] [style=margin-top: -100px; margin-right: 50px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 20pt; text-align: right; text-transform: uppercase; color: #3b220a;]Neah Ryotoji ABILITIES AND INVENTORY INVENTORY Weapons Veritas- This sword is about four feet six inches long and is one foot blade thickness. The outside of the blade has a black lining around the edge and in the center there is a black cross that stretches down to the gold guard around the blade. It has white wrappings around the handle. Neah has a back strap sheath and keeps it hidden underneath his trench coat. 1 impact dial- A small white spiral shapped shell that fits perfectly inside his glove.the impact dial and will absorb the kinetic energy. The dial may be hit by anything blunt or sharp and will absorb the kinetic energy of the attack. Once the apex of the Dial is pressed, the stored energy is released, usually causing internal injuries to a living body, while not leaving any visible external damage. This blunt force is even enough to wound Luffy, who is usually immune to blunt forces. The Impact Dial can also absorb the impact of explosions.[7] The Impact Dial, while not as dangerous as the Reject Dial, can still hurt the user through a backlash when a large amount of energy is released. Non-weapons Original copy of his fathers will and deed to that home Tone dial (mother singing a lullabye Special possessions like lockets would go here 1 violin 1 snow white piano with reverse colored keys. ABILITIES None RACIAL FEATURES None

[Aeon]

• First of all, remove the (done) from the thread title. The thread title is also not formatted correctly at all. It needs to be AFFILIATION :: Character Name
  
• If you have no Jolly Roger just leave it blank, you don't need to say "leaving blank for now"
  
• You're completely missing an image link, nor did you remove the *'s from the url code like it says to
  
• You didn't fill out the height section at all
  
• You need one blank line between your personal drive and color.
  
• You also need an end blockquote tag after your character's color.
  
• You didn't put your cbox name in the app
  
• You didn't format the faceclaim section properly at all.
  • First of all, the faceclaim word is a TITLE not where you put the faceclaim
    
  • You need to remove the *'s from the code tags around your face claim
  
  
• You have extra and missing bullets in your inventory section
  
• You need to remove the red text at the bottom of your abilities.
  
• You also need to have your character's avatar in BOTH posts of the app as well as on your account
  
• Also, you have to purchase dials, you're not able to start with them.

There are just so many things wrong with this app. Go look at some of the accepted applications to see how things should be.

[Neah Ryotoji]

Modded

[Nox]

• So I'm going to preface this whole review with a "I know you've copied" and go from there. I'll say that I'm all for giving homage to an FC, such as having an ability that is similar as a nod to the design, or something of that matter. However that isn't the case here.
  
  
• So yeah, Neah's title is "The Pianist", yet you're the "Musician". To me, this is a problem (it wouldn't be if there wasn't so much copying).
  
  
• So... The personality is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too similar to, not Nea, but Allen. It's pretty much the same, if I remember correctly.
  
  
• You don't even describe what the stigmata he has looks like.
  
  
• Woah woah woah. You kinda need lungs, a heart, kidneys (though as you have it, I've never heard of a heart kidneys), a liver, and a brain. Good thing I talked to the rest of staff about it and they told me about your fruit. Please include that in parenthesis so as to clear up any "wtf" double takes.
  
  
• Mana the musician = Mana the clown? That's some mighty fine pasta, sir.
  
  
• Go over everything with a fine toothed "grammar" comb.
  
  
• So is the uncle a metaphor for Cross Marian?
  
  
• Not going to describe how Neah died? Seems kinda important.
  
  
• Remove the portion about "virtually immortal". That fruit let's you revive once. You only get one phoenix down.
  
  
• Your faceclaim code is wrong. You don't have the name of the claim.
  
  
• At the very least, try to make the dial description not look like it's a copy pasta.
  
  
• That's not how you spell "lullaby"
  
  
• You cannot

[/u] carry a whole piano with you. Not even in One Piece.
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